this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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