I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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