on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
