Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
