you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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