we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
