so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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