come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
