R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
