I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
