We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
