dude i'm inner monologue high
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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