She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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