No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Randomize
