I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
