Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
