Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
