fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
