Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Randomize
