I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
