Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Farmville is her only friend.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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