So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
