Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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