I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
