you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
