Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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