College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
