So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize
