we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
