scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
