I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
