We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
