i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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