Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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