well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
