mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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