Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Everclear isn't food dammit
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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