Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
