i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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