dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
