Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Drunk is a universal language darling
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
