She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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