She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
