So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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