Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
