this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
