I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
