well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
