I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
