she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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